A Wrestling Christmas Miracle

IMDB Synopsis

An 11-year old phenom wrestler with an undefeated record, Kace Gabriel gives up the sport to write/direct a movie. He believes that if the film makes his best friend, Charlie, laugh on Christmas Day it will awake the boy from a coma. Kace's dad, Ajax Gabriel, an Olympian wrestler with a mysterious side career, supports his son's wish, cautioning that the friend may never come out of his slumber. A week before Christmas, the movie is produced - with Ajax and a zany cast of characters starring in it - ready to make all laugh. Ajax departs to Africa, where he headlines The Christmas Coup in the Congo, a wrestling tournament that has him scheduled to return on Christmas, just in time for the movie presentation to Charlie. Instead of all going as planned, however, the sole hard drive containing the movie is stolen by disgruntled, bumbling actors. And The Christmas Coup in the Congo turns out to be a real coup with the overthrow of the country's communist dictator - and with Ajax being right in the center of it all. Kace and his mother, unable to get in touch with Ajax in the Congo, go on a crazy cat and mouse game in trying to retrieve the movie hard drive that is being held for ransom. What ensues is an inspirational, funny thrill ride, with twist after twist - and a climatic, unexpected ending that could only happen on Christmas.

IMDB Rating: 4.5/10

Our Rating: 1/10

Superlatives:

Worst Parenting: Negotiating with extortionists instead of getting real with little Kace

Our Reviews:

This movie bills itself as a wacky Christmas action flick that promises wrestling, crime, and a coup to overthrow a dictator in Africa. Instead, it delivers a nonsensical plot “acted” by buffoons that takes place pretty much solely in McMansions that look more like sterile porn backdrops than somewhere people actually live. Remember the “Friday” music video from Rebecca Black, which was clearly the result of a rich girl’s parents throwing money away to let their child play-act as a pop star? Imagine that, but with a 12 year-old boy who’s on his middle school wrestling team and wants to feel like a movie star. To sum things up with a direct quote from Stephen after watching: “I feel demeaned by this movie.”

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This thing moved me in ways I didn't think possible. After watching it, I was angry at my TV for having conveyed it into my brain. I was also angry at myself, for not having drank more to anesthetize myself during the time that A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was spraying its radiation across my entire living room. Some may call this a movie, I like to think of it as an artistic interpretation of the melt down of Chernobyl and what the people most impacted must have felt in their final moments.

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Fuck this movie. Fuck this shit. I want to erase this from my memory forever.

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What happens when you have a nouveau riche producer from New Jersey with a nephew who happens to be a pretty decent J.V. wrestler with hours of footage from his meets? Odds are you'll end up with a nonsensical movie about an even more nonsensical movie and a hot dog of real life adolescent Greco-Roman action wrapped in a bun of "dialogue."

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No. The synopsis/premise was so promising. Execution was piss-poor. It's like someone tried to sculpt Michelangelo's David out of dog shit.