Hard To Kill

IMDB Synopsis

Left for dead with his wife killed in their house, L.A. Detective Mason Storm will have to make a quick recovery, expose those behind the murder and take revenge.

IMDB Rating: 5.8/10

Our Rating: 7.6/10

Our Reviews:

I know I was drinking wine while watching this, but I honestly think the reason I lost all threads of its plot was because I was so distracted by a sequence of scenes in which Steven Seagal is wearing a pair of jeans that are so uncomfortably tight and unflattering in his crotch area that he ends up with visible moose knuckle, or, as Susan so eloquently put it, “a pile of dough in his pants.”

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It can be hard for the youth of today to understand the cultural force that was Steven Seagal in the 80's/90's, but he gave a lot of hope to guys with dadbods that they, too, could calmly protect a convenience store from armed thugs, then date Kelly LeBrock after someone conveniently murders their wife.

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Waiting on the sequel where Seagal's slapfighting takes on the breakdance fighting from Zoolander.

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Truth in advertising: Steven Seagal is truly hard to kill. Also he incenses and meditates away his bullet wounds.

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Steven Seagal is a cop looking to get revenge for the murder of his family, and also some monistat for his probable-yeast infection from those jeans.