National Treasure: Book Of Secrets
- lindsaybjerregaard
- Oct 26, 2021
- 2 min read
IMDB Synopsis
Benjamin Gates must follow a clue left in John Wilkes Booth's diary to prove his ancestor's innocence in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
IMDB Rating: 6.5/10
Our Rating: 5/10
Our Reviews:
Nic Cage and his posse of Constitution-caramelizing buddies are back at it again, this time on the hunt for a Presidential “book of secrets” to prove that Nic’s great-great-grandpa wasn’t involved in a conspiracy to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. Hijinks along the way include wreaking havoc across the streets of London during what appears to be a highly-misguided high-stakes car chase, kidnapping the President of the United States, and inexplicably finding a buried Mayan city of gold inside Mount Rushmore. My favorite part was Nic Cage affecting a cockney accent and mouthing off to a security guard at Buckingham Palace while sliding backwards down a bannister like a lunatic.
This movie was the real national treasure. In trying to remember what this movie was about, I got to experience the joy of recalling that Nic Cage BROKE INTO BUCKINGHAM PALACE. Nic Cage KIDNAPPED THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Nic Cage FOUND AN INSANE UNDERGROUND CITY OF GOLD THAT THE NATIVE AMERICANS APPARENTLY PREFERRED TO KEEP HIDDEN FOR A FUTURE WHITE TREASURE HUNTER RATHER THAN USE IT TO EXERCISE ANY POWER OVER AN INVADING ARMY STEALING THEIR LAND. And all of this happened because Nic Cage wanted to show that someone didn't do something once 150 years ago. That plot made sense to someone.
Is it weird that the Book of Secrets turned out to be Lincoln's copy of the Kama Sutra?
The worst crime in American history is *checks notes* rich white people's ancestors being falsely accused of being involved in the Lincoln assassination? No POC were consulted in the creation of this movie.
Can we all agree that most of American history is just really boring and that no matter how many theme park rides your cram into a movie set, most sensible people just won't give a damn? Where is the magic, give me some dragons and dancing brooms... wait, you know what, this is fine... no magic, no wizards please.
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