Valley Girl

IMDB Synopsis

Julie, a girl from the valley, meets Randy, a punk from the city. They are from different worlds and find love. Somehow they need to stay together in spite of her trendy, shallow friends.

IMDB Rating: 6.4/10

Our Rating: 5.8/10

Our Reviews:

Imagine Clueless, but with none of the interesting wardrobe, music or humorous dialogue. Instead, it’s got vacuous conversation that’s completely impossible to understand, no redeeming characters, and an intense romance that emerges seemingly out of nowhere (I guess based solely on Nic Cage’s chest hair shaved into the shape of a bat and him creepily hiding in a shower at a house party for potentially hours to talk to the lackluster female protagonist without her roid rage ex boyfriend interfering). Susan summed up the romantic chemistry in this movie well by saying, “I haven’t seen a single movie in the 80’s with a healthy, consenting relationship. All of these people should be in prison.” I also found myself wildly distracted by the gross food choices on display here, including sushi dipped in peanut butter, a slice of American cheese betwixt a stale-looking hamburger bun, and what appeared to be guacamole pie.

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How better to summarize the classically American tension that has existed between urban and suburban high school children than by casting 20-year-olds to play over-the-top caricatures of them and/or wooden unsympathetic automatons? At least the downtown montage was cool and no one appeared to be date raped on screen.

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An illiterate towny awkwardly creeps on adolescent girl. Adolescent girl does not yet understand that it's not normal for potential mates to show affection by assaulting current partner. Can only assume adolescent girl ends up getting pregnant right away and regretting all her life choices. #80'sFairytale

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Everybody thinks that their lives are somehow interesting enough for an audience to care, but actually everyone just sucks a lot. If r/im14andthisisdeep were a movie.

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Nic Cage in one of his first lead roles ever takes on his biggest challenge to date: teaming up with the Hair and Makeup department to tame his chest hair by trimming it in a way that still looks natural. Despite their best efforts, they fail terribly, and a few good men were probably lost in the process. Still, Cage carries on and pulls off a passable performance as a young, carefree rebel-punk who just wants to love a human female, even though he has a crippling chest hair condition that will eventually turn him into a vampire later on in the 80's.